I need to grow some balls, and grow them quickly! !
Today I am going back to work 😢I can’t even tell you why am I so upset. Is it because I had to leave my girls ? Is it because I know that I won’t see them all the time? Is it because I am going back to work ? It is because I won’t be the first one to see every single new thing that Skylar will do? Is it because I am worried that Skylar won’t know what is going one? Is it because I worry that she will think that I abounded her ? Is it because I won’t be there for my girls all the time, and every time that they needs me? It’s probably all of the above. I know that the nursery is good for kids, they learn a lot there, do loads of things that I wouldn’t do with them at home, teaches them social skills etc. But the truth is : no one, no matter how amazing they are (girls do have an amazing grandparents) will be able to look after your child as well as you are.
I know that after few weeks we all will be fine, settled in to our new routine, making the most of our new life … but until then I will have a cry here and there …
YOUR LIFE IS OVER ! That is what I have been told on a number of occasions about my life once I have kids. This is also what I hear a from people who have kids. And quite frankly I have had enough and will unload my frustration here ! Kids do not end your life! They change it, they make it happier, they make it special, and they give your life a purpose! Kids make you experience a totally different side to life, expose you to things that you didn’t even know existed (like Peppa Pig, sleepless nights without alcohol being involved, explosive poos and so much more). I have two kids and they never stoped me doing anything. We travel abroad, we visit lots of places, we go out to restaurants, travel to central London, we go shopping, we still do things without them (although those aren’t as much fun anymore) ! It’s all down to what you want to do once you have kids! If you don’t have a life it’s not your kids’ fault, you just use your kids as an excuse! Don’t get me wrong having kids is not a walk in the park: it is challenging, sometimes frustrating and there are times that you could scream at the top of your voice or just cry … You can blame your kids for having grey hair at the age of 30 or you can blame them for those massive bags under your eyes, or for having to drink a coffee that has gone cold … but you cannot blame them for not having a life! You have two options 1. Change your life style or 2. Stop telling people that your life is over once you have kids !
Breastfeeding wasn’t a question for me, it was just an obvious choice.
It was very easy with my first one and after a rocky start with the second one, we are both enjoying it as well. I love breastfeeding, I love the bond that I have with the baby and all of the extra cuddles that I get because of it. But it’s not that straight forward. Breast feeding though it’s the most natural thing in the world can be very difficult to establish. There are so many Mums out there that try and cannot do it for lots of different reasons, there is also a lot of babies who can’t get the hang of it. As mums-to-be we get a lot of advice, lessons and support but none of them prepare you for how hard it can be to breastfeed, they only stress how important it is. There needs to be a better education on it and much better support for everyone who struggles. There also needs to be much more empathy towards mums who struggle or can’t do it. I have heard some many bad stories from Mums who were looking for help and had someone make them feel even worse than they already did! You cannot give a Mum who is struggling to breastfeed her baby advice like: just breastfeed and don’t give your baby a bottle, she will eat when she gets hungry ….. really? And lastly no mum should judge how the other one feeds their baby, bottle or breast, we all do what we think is best for our babies and what works for us …
what was your baby feeding experience ?
How many times times have you been told the sex of your child based on the shape or height of your belly? I even had someone questioning the result of my scan (Stranger: are you expecting a boy? Me: no I am having a girl. Stranger: Are you sure about that? Me: Yes I had a scan Stranger: I think that it was wrong and you are having a boy, your bump is very high …. Me: are you serious?) How many times have you been told that because your second pregnancy is different you will have the opposite sex ? How many times you been told that first babies are always late and second babies are always early? Or that your labour will be the same as the first one, or it will be like that because of this and that in your pregnancy? ITS ALL RUBBISH!!!!!! I am a mum of two girls. I have had two very different pregnancies and very different labours.
My first pregnancy was a dream. I had no morning sickness, I had the pregnancy glow, my skin became lovely, my hair was glossy, I loved every second of it. The only side affects were feeling full very quickly in the first trimester which was so frustrating as I love my food, and the not sleeping great in the third trimester.
My second pregnancy was very different. I was feeling sick and being sick for the first 5 months. Like clockwork every day at 4pm nausea crept in, I would feel sick and be sick every day until I started taking tablets. I got very bad varicose veins on my legs and to top it off I got a hernia ! I still loved being pregnant but it was a very different experience.
My first daughter was born 2 weeks while the second one was 3 days late.
My first labour was induced. My waters broke but the labour didn’t start so I had to be induced 24 hours later. The whole labour lasted around 6 hours (by the labour I mean since it’s full on, painful with long contractions).
The second one was natural, waters didn’t break till very end of the labour, and the labour took around 2,5hours and we made it to hospital 20min before she was born.
The only similarity is that I managed to only have gas and air with both of them (bloody proud of it 💪🏻)
With both of the labours I wanted to be in Birthing Center in the pool … which both of them that didn’t happen. First one I had to be in the hospital because of the induction; With the second one I was in the birthing center and they even started to fill in the pool but this baby was not going to wait . So you see two girls and such a different experience with each of them ….
what was your experience?
WEEK 25 has ended ! SHE IS 6 months old today !!!! 6 months old !!!!! How ??!! When ??!! She is growing so much so quickly!!! Too much too quickly !!! 6 months of disturbed sleep, early wake ups, mountains of washing . 6 months of feeling so happy and so loved/loving that it’s impossible to describe. 6 months of cuddling, kissing, feeding, dressing, caring, worrying and looking at my gorgeous little girl growing into quite a big baby (she is outgrowing 6-9 months old clothes already and weighing 8,5 kg!!!!). 6 months of feeling very blessed to be a mummy to such a gorgeous little girl. 6 months of seeing Chloe becoming the most loving and wonderful big sister …. HAPPY 1/2 BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL !
WEEK 23 is gone … yet another week has shot by and I don’t even know when?! or how?! It is really freaking me out how quickly time is going. It’s funny how with my first daughter I couldn’t wait for the next step, next development, needing to buy the next load of clothes ; with the second one it is totally opposite … I want her to grow slower, to stay little, to be my little baby for a little bit longer . So what have we accomplished this week? *s…t loads of washing… again !!! *failure at progressing with Skylar’s weaning. And this is not down to her not wanting to eat, she has an appetite of an elephant. We were meant to start two meals a day but somehow I didn’t manage to get vegetables steamed in time or had enough time to prep it. I just keep forgetting about it and remembering that poor Skylar is eating now as well just before we were siting down for a meal. So I kicked my arse and ordered new tableware for her, lots of cereals fruits vegetables and I WILL REMEMBER to cook for her from now on 😊*went back to exercising after a few weeks break. I am on the mission to get beach ready. *Got undisturbed 6 hours of sleep !!! 🎉Followed by being up every hour the following night😂
*Discovered that melamine is dangerous ??!! Am I the only ignorant mum out there? I didn’t have a clue about it! Also didn’t have a clue that you should not be putting it in to a microwave ??!! How can you design kids tableware which you can’t put in to microwave and which is dangerous ??!! I feel so stupid !!!
Am I cherishing every moment ? Am I enjoying every second of this little tiny body in my arms ? Is every moment as precious as I wanted it to be ? When a baby is born we are in this lovely bubble of love! We want to enjoy every second of having a new born baby and being a mum/dad. First weeks are like a dream, you are in a bubble of happiness (and also a little bit delirious from lack of sleep😂)… then real life gets in your way… First little things crop in like having to cook, clean, have a shower or go to the shop … Then comes the tiredness, need for adult company and coffee , spending hours on google researching why my baby cries, baby doesn’t sleep, baby doesn’t eat, what to do … how to do it …. , going to baby classes, going for a walks, visiting friends, play groups, having to start giving your baby some independence …. then you realise that they are already 1 Month… 3 Months…. 6 Months … 1 Year Old … And the question you constantly ask is 1. When has the time gone???!!!! 2. Why is my baby growing so fast ???!!!!
Even though you probably cherished every second of being with your baby you will look back and think that you haven’t made enough of this special time, you will question yourself have I taken enough photos of my little baby?, have I given him or her enough cuddles? have I been staring at him or her enough? have I remembered every single special thing that they did for the first time ?
When my second daughter was born I was saying that I need to enjoy everything more than I did first time round (don’t think that it is possible really) But I constantly keep thinking how quickly she is growing and questioning if I make the most of it ? Yes I think that I am, but I am sad to let go … sad that I won’t see her first smile anymore, sad that she isn’t this tiny newborn baby anymore, sad that I have to buy next size clothes … and at the same time very excited about seeing her grow and develop ….
I love the baby stage so much that I might start having a baby every year just so I can enjoy it all over again, all the time 😂
Babies grow very fast so cherish every second as you won’t be able to get it back ! Enjoy sharing your life with this tiny person and making memories together, nothing else matters!
To the woman who got angry because I had to stop to pick up Chloe’s rabbit off the floor and it delayed her by 5 seconds. To the man who was getting very impatient because I had too many things that had to go through the X-ray screening at the airport and it took me 2 minutes longer than other people. To the guy who was giving me disapproving looks because my daughter was singing too loudly. To the countless people who chose not to hold any of the many doors for my husband who was carrying several bags as well as my daughter. To the woman who felt the need to say stuff under her nose because our 2 year-old daughter wouldn’t stay without moving in the queue for 20 min. To the old guy who was looking disapprovingly at my daughter because she accidentally got under his feet JUST CHILL OUT, SLOW DOWN AND STOP BEING SO MISERABLE!! I know that we all have10000000 things to do and have to get to lots of different places, and that’s ok as far as this doesn’t make you a horrible person and you don’t forget to be nice to others ! Life is too short to be so inconsiderate, miserable and horrible. JUST BE HAPPY !!!
I thought that I had it all sorted: perfect napping routine, Chloe sleeping throuh the night and Chloe bed time routine… And then it all went wrong!! Without any reason Chloe started to refuse to take her usual naps, or would sleep only for 30 min. Then as soon as we moved her to her own bed at night she started getting up twice a night for her milk. To add to everything the last 3 evenings she just became so active and excited before going to bed that putting her to sleep became a nightmare !!! We went from my husband reading her bed time story and Chloe falling asleep quietly to her just kicking, talking and jumping round her cot like crazy.
Why oh why does it happen ??!! There is no reason for any of it as we haven change her routine! ! I think that she is playing a game with me !! Or she is teaching me the lesson of who the boss is 😁
So off I am back to the drawing board.
1.I need to figure out new day routine as Chloe obviously doesn’t like the old one. Need to go back to observing her to see when she wants to nap and for how long. Then fit her feeds in between to make sure she has enough. Hopefully if she starts getting more sleep in the day it will help with her night sleeping.
2.Change her evening routine. This one is really weird as we have had this same routine for the last 5 months and up until recently it worked perfectly !! We eat dinner, have a bath, get ready to bed and then read the story. While Chloe lays in her bed… Will try to chang it a little bit and see if reeding the story before putting her in to the cot will work.
I just drive myself crazy asking question Why Why Why ?! And not getting any answers ! Why is she not sleeping? is she too tired? Is she teething? Is she not tired ???!!!!
Chloe never was a sleepy baby. Everyone tells you newborns sleep all the time … Not Chloe! From the beginning she was awake for around 4 hours or more at once. As the time went by and she was getting older and older she was awake more and more …. And some more.
I mentioned before that the key for us to get Chloe to sleep nicely and easyly without waking up crying was longer naps (apparently 30 min 3 times a day isn’t good enough). I also mentioned that it wasn’t too hard to get Chloe to nap for 1,5 hour …. Spoken to soon !!!
If you are struggling with getting your little one to nap for longer than 30-45 minutes, don’t worry! Most of us are!If you aren’t then you are really lucky! There are days when Chloe naps like a dream! She always wakes up after her first sleep cycle but going back to sleep is a hit and miss. Sometimes it takes few seconds and she is back asleep, sometimes 5 minutes of her talking … sometimes 15, sometimes 5 minutes crying … Sometimes 30 minutes. If we have one of the bad days I give up after 20 minutes and take her for a walk. That way Chloe gets her sleep (takes 5 minutes in the pram and she is out) and I get my coffee and magazine break in Coffeeshop 😊
I tried all of the advice that you can find out there on how to get them back to sleep:
– sussh and pat ( she doesn’t want to lay on her side to do it 😊)
– having good routine (we always go to sleep at this same time)
– making sure that naps are when Chloe needs it and when she is tired (you can establishe it quite easily by observing your baby)
– staying in the room with them ( doesn’t work, Chloe things that I am there to play with her)
– speaking to Chloe about the need to sleep to have more energy to play (some reason she doesn’t ether understand or agree with me)
What works best for us is to keep coming in to the room, putting her comfort blanket to her cheek, dummy in to mouth and leaving the room. Sometimes I need to do it 100 times but 90% of the time it works.
Good news is apparently it will get much easier when baby is 6 months old !!!!!!