Going back to work … ï»¿

I need to grow some balls, and grow them quickly! ! 


Today I am going back to work 😢I can’t even tell you why am I so upset. Is it because I had to leave my girls ? Is it because I know that I won’t see them all the time? Is it because I am going back to work ? It is because I won’t be the first one to see every single new thing that Skylar will do? Is it because I am worried that Skylar won’t know what is going one? Is it because I worry that she will think that I abounded her ? Is it because I won’t be there for my girls all the time, and every time that they needs me? It’s probably all of the above. I know that the nursery is good for kids, they learn a lot there, do loads of things that I wouldn’t do with them at home, teaches them social skills etc. But the truth is : no one, no matter how amazing they are (girls do have an amazing grandparents) will be able to look after your child as well as you are. 

I know that after few weeks we all will be fine, settled in to our new routine, making the most of our new life … but until then I will have a cry here and there … 

HOW/CAN ? You prepare for your second child :-) 

How to prepare for your second child.I don’t think that there is anything you can do to prepare yourself for second child; but there are quite a few things you can do to make it easier for your first born.

BOOKS

As soon as your bump becomes visible start reading your child stories about “baby in mummy’s tommy” and them becoming big sister/brother .My favourite books were :


And “Princess Poly I am new big sister”. 

 . When/if you find out what you are having you can start reading books about them getting baby sister / brother. This will help them to understand what is happening and what is to come. 

GET THEM INVOLVE 

It’s very important that you get them involved in baby related things. We got Chloe involved in preparing for the new arrival: 

– helping to fold baby clothes (or shall I say unfold? 😂) which she loved, she would pick up every single garment and say: mummy look it’s so small ! 

– taking her to midwife appointments to check that “baby is ok”. 

– help decorate her sisters nursery (choosing where to put toys, what photos to put in to frames)

– going shopping to buy things for the baby and asking for her help with it. 



PRESENT FROM THE BABY

What makes the inconvenience of the arrival of the sibling more bearable is a nice present. Your Firstborn is more likely to “like” someone who gave him present (especially when it is something that they really wanted). 

VISITING RULES

Make sure that your guest give your child as much attention as they will give to the baby. It is a very good idea to get your toddler to show quests where the baby is and ask him questions about the baby. It will make them feel very important. 
LITTLE HELPER

 Get your toddler to help with the baby. Getting involved in everyday tasks will stop your toddler feeling excluded. Giving nappy and wipes, bringing blanket etc all of those little things will make them feel as a very important big sister/brother. 
UNDIVIDED ATTENTION

 The hardest thing for your child to deal with will be lack of attention. They live gets thrown up side down; one day they are the only person who gets your attention the next day there is someone who gets much more of your attention than they do. Make sure that each day you do spend quality time with your toddler. Put aside an hour a day when your baby is sleeping when you can have lots of fun with your toddler; it will be hard when you are sleep deprived but it will make a huge difference to your child. 

NEW ROUTINE

 You won’t be able to follow all of your old routines of bathing, feeding, reading stories, tucking in to bed. Make sure that you make new ones which involve the baby and work with having two kids. My husband does Chloe’s batch time and bed time routine but I make sure to take Skylar to Chloe’s room for her bed time story. This now has become our new family routine and Chloe loves it. 

 Those things has worked for us. Chloe has adapted very quickly to the new family dynamics and is in love with her baby sister . 

Guilt !!! Bad mom !!! 

This week was my first week of maternity leave. Yes it is already that time!!! I have only 2 weeks left to my due date (hopefully it will be less than that!).

 As you can imagine, I am crazy busy. Because I was working full time and have a toddler I haven’t managed to do a lot inpreparation  for my new arrival. What we have managed to accomplish is to order/buy everything and dump it in the spare bedroom 😁. 


 Now that I am on maternity leave I could start getting things done …. once toddler is out of the way. I decided to keep Chloe in the nursery for 2 full days so I could get on with things …. what I didn’t expect is the guilt !!! I have been feeling so guilty for leaving her at the nursery and going home!!!! This is crazy !!! How can I feel so guilty about it??!! I am a good mum who does everything and anything for her girl, so why do I feel so bad that I feel like crying when I leave her there? (I can’t only blame it on my hormones). 

 Monday I was feeling bad but I was so busy with painting, unpacking etc that I just keep pushing it out of my mind.    Today though I decided that I need to get my hair done (in between sorting out the nursery) and trust me I desperately needed it done. I was prepared to feel as bad as on Monday … but this is much worst ! How dare I take some time to myself and leave my girl at the nursery??!!! Bad monther, bad mother !!! Why do we feel so guilty??!! This is irrational! We already give most of our life to our kids, we should be able to take a little brake to treat ourselfs without this horrible guilt feeling hanging over our heads ! 

✨✨✨BABY SPRINKLE ✨✨✨

Baby Sprinkle, Yes this time it is called a Baby Sprinkle not a Baby Shower. Let me explain; A Baby Sprinkle is a less lavish Baby Shower to welcome your second, third, fourth baby ….. 😊 It’s much smaller and much less extravagant, with the Mum To Be being sprinkled with gifts instead of showered with them. It’s all about having a lovely time with your closest friends and family. Its a tradition which started in America only a couple of years ago, it’s still very new so not many people celebrate it. 

I wanted to do something for the second baby, it seemed to me unfair to have a big celebration when I was expecting my first daughter and to do nothing for the second one…. I definitely didn’t want to be the one explaining to my second daughter why there are no photos of her baby shower. 

Are there any rules? From what I have found out it’s very similar to a Baby Shower with a few exceptions:

 INVITATIONS 

 Yes you have to have them but this time it can be much less formal: an invitation sent through internet/ group text this time is more than enough (but if you want a fancy traditional invitation go for it). 

WHO ORGANISES IT

The same rules apply as with a Baby Shower; Your friend or your family can organise it, or if you are a control freak like me you do it yourself 😊.

 THEME 

There are no rules when it comes to it, go with what you like, or forget about the theme all together and just have a lovely dinner/lunch/tea party. 

TIME

As with a Baby Shower you should organise it by the end of your pregnancy, but at the time that you are still feeling well with minimal chances of going in to labour. 1 to 2 months before due date will be perfect. A Baby Sprinkle should last around 2 hours, it is much shorter than a Baby Shower which usually takes the whole afternoon. 

PRESENTS

Don’t expect any. Yes you can make a registered gift list or a general gift list but remember that you already have most of the things for baby so it should only be small things on it. This time is all about just having a lovely time and not the presents. 

 I had my Baby Sprinkle last weekend and I had a lovely time. A much smaller event than the 40 guests that I had last time. Chloe has loved having a party (“Chloe’s and Baby Sister’s Party”) and being allowed to eat lots of treats. Here are some photos …

NO !! NO !! NO !! NO MUMMY !! NO DADDY!! 

 My happy, very good, cheerful child has changed overnight in to a crying, whining NO NO NO NO to everything baby !! Welcome to the Terrible Twos stage! 

 4 days ago Chloe woke up as a totally different child. Instead of seeing her happy smiley face in the morning I got crying Chloe who was getting in to tantrums every 5 minutes about everything !!! And that’s how she is since then. 

 Everything is a “NO”! Oh no it’s not only one NO, its “NO NO NO MUMMY” !!! With a finger shake added for impact and very often a tantrum when she is throwing herself on the floor and crying like crazy without a reason ….. 

It starts from the early morning:

Mum: Chloe do you want to go downstairs? 

Chloe: NO!  

Mum: Chloe do you want your milk (she loves her morning milk) 

Chloe: NO! 

Mum: I go and make it anyway, while I do it I am being told million of times “No No No mummy”, then she throws herself on the floor and starts to cry … I try to cuddle her; she throws herself on the floor and cries while saying “No mummy No”; I make the milk and leave it on the table … Few seconds later she is drinking it?

Mum: Chloe let’s go and play 

Chloe: No 

Mum: If she doesn’t want to play I will make myself a coffee …

Chloe: No No No No mummy ! 

Mum: Eeerrrrr No what? I am not even looking at her at this moment !!!! And then she is off to play happily.

Mum: Chloe let’s go and change your nappy.

Chloe: NO NNNNOOOOO mummy. Off I take her screaming and crying upstairs, and I will just say that changing a nappy becomes a performance of its own. 

This gives you a taste of how my last few days have been looking. Everything is a “NO”, lots of crying, tantrums … And try to tell her No to something 😂 the meltdown that you get is something. 

 This episode in your toddlers’ life is called the TERRIBLE TWOs or as some likes to call it TODDLER REFUSAL! It can develop at any time between 19 months and 30 months. Comes unannounced and strikes with full power, then disappears without a word (I hope so !!!!). It can last anything from a few days to a few weeks but the specialists say that it will definitely go away sooner or later, so remember and keep repeating: it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase…. The reasons behind this behaviour is simple- toddlers say “no” because they can. “They’ve just found out that they have a will, and they want to exercise it,”(Susanne Denham, Professor of Developmental Psychology at George Mason University). When it comes to the tantrums different specialists say different things: some say that we are being tested by the kids to see if having a tantrum will give them what they want, some say that it’s because a toddler cannot express itself, some say that it’s just a reaction to escape a demand and some that it’s pure attention seeking.

 There are tricks which can help with this difficult stage and I must say they work. Sometimes they will make the tantrum go away, sometimes they will prevent it, but remember they will not stop it totally and you have to be prepared for the battle of wills. 

1. Offer choices 

 Give your toddler options. Options on how to do something, not if they want to do it. It makes them feel in control of what they are doing and that makes them happy. 

 If you ask him/her if they want breakfast the answer will be a very loud NO though we know that they want to eat! Instead give an option of cereal or toast. 

I found meal times especially difficult. Chloe would just scream when I put her in her highchair, she would scream if I took her off … I didn’t have a clue what to do! So I started giving her lots of different things on her plate so she could choose what she wanted to eat (one main meal which is what we are eating and lots of different vegetables, few plain pasta, a fruit). This and taking the highchair tray off so she could “sit with us at the table” worked miricles and she started eating pretty much everything again. 

 When dressing them give options of two outfits and get them to try and dress themselves. 

Going for a walk I would ask Chloe what shoes she wants to wear and if she wants to walk or take the pram. 

2. Distraction 

 If she/he kick off with yet another tantrum just get them to look at something, pretend that you hear something, show them another toy etc. Works 70% of the time. This will stop them crying for long enough so you can show them something what will keep them occupied. I always say “Chloe have you seen the train?” (she is obsessed with them) and then take her to another room and try to play with her. 

 When changing a nappy (which for some reason Chloe started hating with a passion) I use toys to stop the tantrum and crying. I tell her that we will change theirs nappies afterwards and she can clean theirs bums, or I tell her that all of her favourite toys are looking at her, and they will scream and cry when she tries to change their nappies 😁 so far it has been working. 
3. Ignoring

  Sometimes nothing will work and you just will need to let them cry and calm down a bit. If the reason behind the tantrum is you saying “No” to something then you will have to ignore it. As tempting as it is do not give in and stay strong, if not your toddler might learn that if they behave that way they will always get what they want …. And you don’t want to incurage behaviour like that, do you ?😊 or you can just lay down and scream with them 😊

4. Little helpers

 Get them to help you with whatever you are doing. Kids love to “help”, it makes them happy. Be prepared for everything to take twice as long, but I will be worth it. Helping with hanging the washing, folding clothes, tidying up, dusting etc


Have you gone throught this stage ? Do you have any tips ? Please share with us ! 

2nd PREGNANCY …. OH SO DIFFERENT

The second pregnancy is definitely very different! I was always told that by all of my baby mums but didn’t really believe it / understand it. I was shocked to discover how different it is. I am not talking here about the actual pregnancy (this is very different to the first one as well).
I remember being pregnant with Chloe and being obsessed about it and with everything to do with pregnancy and having babies etc. I would know each week what “fruit size” Chloe was, how she was developing; I would be spending hours on the internet researching all baby stuff that I needed, looking for hours for the perfect baby cot, toys. I would be starting to plan her room from when I was 3 months pregnant. I read all of the books about what to expect and bought every baby magazine out there.

I am currently 26 weeks pregnant and have done very little to nothing !!! I am already feeling sorry for my little baby girl as her mum half of the time doesn’t even remember how far pregnant she is (I had to check my baby app to tell you the weeks). I have had no time to do anything: no name ready, no plan of what needs to be done, nothing has been bought…. last weekend we had to make a conscious decision to write down a plan of what we will do each weekend so we are prepared for the arrival of our baby girl!

Don’t get me wrong we are very excited about her arrival, and I love house decorating, planing, baby stuff shopping- it’s my paradise, but with full time work, Chloe and a house to run I have no time or energy! (Even with a husband who does a lot to support – had to mention it So he doesnt get offended).

I will now be booking time each weekend so we can do things for our upcoming baby as well as having quality time with Chloe and some rest/fun…. Lets see how that goes ….

Your baby’s brain will grow with your ❤️ !

Who doesn’t like to cuddle theirs baby? It’s the best thing in the world!❤️ I love getting up to Chloe chatting waiting ready in the cot to give me lots of cuddles, Chloe wanting her mummy cuddles when she isn’t 100%, cuddling up every evening to have her story … And much more. 

Now Mummy’s cuddles has been prescribed by a doctor ! There is now an extra reason to do it, or a reason to do it even more often (which your baby/child might not appreciate 😂) !!! 

I AM TIRED ! ðŸ’¤ðŸ’¤ðŸ’¤ðŸ’¤

I knew that by becoming a mum I will join the groups of people who are constantly tired and cannot function without coffee. 

 When I became a full time working Mum I knew that I will become even more tired and I was prepared for it. The key was to get very organized so everything runs smoothly and you don’t try and get everything done at the same time. 

… But I was not prepared for the level of tiredness which swamped me once I became pregnant again. I AM CONSTANTLY TIRED/ EXHAUSTED ! I go to sleep exhausted and I get up in the morning tired !!! The thing is that you still need to go to work and be on your best form; make sure that after work you have quality time with your baby who you missed so terribly for the whole day, cook dinner, bath you child and put to sleep, tidy up the house and then collapse on the sofa and try to have some quality time with you husband while trying not to fall asleep 💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤

 I love being pregnant and I know that this tiny tiny baby inside me will be worth it …. But I AM EXHAUSTED !!!!! 

I was always against having a cleaner but at this point of my life I don’t care I am getting one so I can try and relax a bit more over the weekend ….