Advice – NEW YUMMY MUMMY

TANTRUM TANTRUM TANTRUM !!!!!!

We had had 2 very difficult weeks with Chloe. From nowhere she started having the most horrible tantrums. Never in my life have I seen something like that! She was like a child possessed screaming, crying, throwing herself on the floor …. this would last for almost an hour at a time!!!!!! What made the whole experience very upsetting is that there was nothing that me or my husband could do to help Chloe. Seeing your child, who is normally as good as an angel (and the naughtiest things she does is not to come straight away when you call her) change in to such a mess is very distressing. I have spent hours researching what it is and what can trigger it and decided to share my knowledge.

WHAT IS A TANTRUM / MELTDOWN

“Tantrum” is commonly used to describe milder outbursts, during which a child still retains some measure of control over his or her behaviour. Tantrums are part of normal developmental behaviour for children aged 1-3 and over. They are not “naughty” or used deliberately to wind you up.

“Meltdown” This is opposed to a meltdown, during which a child loses control so completely that the behavior only stops when he wears himself out and/or the parent is able to calm him down.

WHY DO THEY HAPPEN ?

Emotions and inability to deal with them are behind it.

ANGER – If the child feels angry because : You don’t want to give them chocolate which they need, don’t want to buy them new toy which they have to have, don’t let them watch more tv.

ANXIETY – is a big trigger; it causes kids to freak out, overriding the logic that would enable her to see that her anxiety is out of proportion to the situation.

FRUSTRATION – very often due to limited language, or lacking the skills to complete tasks for example: getting stuck with a jumper half-way on, or a piece of puzzle that won’t fit.

INDEPENDENCE – they want to be independent and do things themselves : walking, choosing theirs clothes, eating etc.

TIREDNESS AND HUNGER

CHANGE TO THE ROUTINE – this can unsettle your child and make them feel unsafe. Any new routine, changes in the family like an arrival of a sibling.

Or any of the reasons that Chloe has had them :

Offer them a cup of milk.

Ask them if they want to get up.

Ask if they want to eat something.

Change them out of a dirty nappy.

Ask if they are ok.

Because I looked at her.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

At that would sometimes happen ….

HOW TO STOP TANTRUMS

To stop tantrums you need to help the child gain control over their emotions. Some of the most common issues that cause children to act out in negative ways are hunger, tiredness, frustration, boredom or over-stimulation.

Once you identify the real reason behind your child’s actions, you can often solve this at the first sign of negative behaviour, before your child dissolves into a full-blown tantrum.

DISTRACTION – one of the ways to stop the tantrum is to take attention away of what has triggered it. Show them something, ask them to help you etc. Get them to focus on something else.

IGNORE – if the tantrum has started then ignoring it is very often the best thing to do. Leave the room and the child very often stops the tantrum because there is no audience and they get no reaction.

HUG – sometimes they just need to be cuddled and told that it’s all ok and that you are there for them.

GIVE THEM SPACE – if it is a full blown tantrum or meltdown sometimes the only thing you can do is to leave them until they calm down.

TALK TO YOUR CHILD – if there are some changes coming to their life talk about it and explain them to your child in advance. Kids understand much more than we as parents think they do. Ask them why have they behaved like that and tell them that next time if they feel like that they can do “something” else like talk to you, come for a hug etc. With time they will learn how to deal with it.

Most important of all is to remember that you are the grown up. It can be very hard and very frustrating for the parent. I went through every single emotion I can think of when Chloe was having those terrible tantrums : sad, worried, annoyed, frustrated, angry, tearfull, heartbroken ….. when it was getting to me I raised my voice at her, told her that I would take her toys away or once when I couldn’t handle it I even compared her to “good and nice Skylar” (something I promised myself I will never do). When the situation is getting to you just take a very deep breaths and remember you are the grown up who understands what is happening or leave the room until you are composed.

Our tantrums lasted just over 2 weeks and hopefully will never come back again.

What worked for us is:

– Giving Chloe space. When the tantrum started I would take her to her room, explain that I will leave her and come back when she calms down.

– Once calm I would give her lots of cuddles and ask why she has behaved like that. Most of the time she wouldn’t know, I would try and help her identify the feelings.

– Explain to her that she cannot behave like that, that this is a very naughty behaviour and that there are consequences. Most of the time I would take away her dessert for a day or she wouldn’t have story time, wouldn’t be allowed to watch her favourite Peppa pig or go out to the playground. Also what didn’t work is taking toys away. She has lots of different toys so taking one didn’t make any difference, she would just play with something else. It has to be a real treat that you take away.

– Tell her to stamp her feet when she gets angry and tell us when she feels it coming. She would tell us now that she is getting very sad.

Good luck to anyone who is going through it. Share any good ideas that you have on hot to deal with it.

Yet another SLEEP REGRESSION!!! 😳

BABY ADVICE, MY BABY EXPERIENCE

As soon as the terrible two’s have descended on us so did the sleep regression. On a positive note our terrible two’s lasted only 2 weeks and we now have our daughter back!!!! Yuppieeee!!!! The sleep regression lasted around 3 weeks and I dare to say it was more painful! Disturbed sleep while pregnant and working full time does not go well together! Did you hear that Chloe?????!!!!

Between the ages of 18-24 months kids go through yet another sleep regression; I hate them!!!! I can just about cope with a teething toddler and lack of sleep that this has been giving us in the last 14 months or so. With teething at least I know that it will last 2 or 3 nights and I also have my best friend Neurophen supporting me 😊 afterwards we will be getting our full night’s sleep; so it’s not too bad. With sleep regression we lose our evenings and our sleep at night!

It all started from the innocent “not being able to go to sleep on her own. We had that previously for 2 or 3 nights if she was teething but not for almost 3 weeks, and not so dramatic! As soon as Chloe wasn’t able to see me or my husband she would be up standing in her cot crying her heart out; I must say it was heartbreaking! As soon as she would see us she would lay down and try and go to sleep, while checking every couple of seconds if one of us is still there. It started taking her over an hour to fall asleep!!!!! 😳 Then came the waking up at night and crying for her Mummy a few times each night 😳

We have tried a trick our friends told us about; each night stand/lie down a little bit further torwards the door, then you stand outside the door and, then finally you don’t show yourself you just shusshhhh them (or as my friends did you put only socks on the floor right next to the door so they think that you are still there … But you are not 😂) And luckily it worked very well!!!!With every step towards the door the night started to improve as well, she was calling/crying for us less and less.

We are done with it now but it was hard guys. We are now back to the odd disturbed nights with the standard: teething, cold or one of 50 different reasons when they wake up at night 😊

NO !! NO !! NO !! NO MUMMY !! NO DADDY!!

BABY ADVICE

My happy, very good, cheerful child has changed overnight in to a crying, whining NO NO NO NO to everything baby !! Welcome to the Terrible Twos stage!

4 days ago Chloe woke up as a totally different child. Instead of seeing her happy smiley face in the morning I got crying Chloe who was getting in to tantrums every 5 minutes about everything !!! And that’s how she is since then.

Everything is a “NO”! Oh no it’s not only one NO, its “NO NO NO MUMMY” !!! With a finger shake added for impact and very often a tantrum when she is throwing herself on the floor and crying like crazy without a reason …..

It starts from the early morning:

Mum: Chloe do you want to go downstairs?

Chloe: NO!

Mum: Chloe do you want your milk (she loves her morning milk)

Chloe: NO!

Mum: I go and make it anyway, while I do it I am being told million of times “No No No mummy”, then she throws herself on the floor and starts to cry … I try to cuddle her; she throws herself on the floor and cries while saying “No mummy No”; I make the milk and leave it on the table … Few seconds later she is drinking it?

Mum: Chloe let’s go and play

Chloe: No

Mum: If she doesn’t want to play I will make myself a coffee …

Chloe: No No No No mummy !

Mum: Eeerrrrr No what? I am not even looking at her at this moment !!!! And then she is off to play happily.

Mum: Chloe let’s go and change your nappy.

Chloe: NO NNNNOOOOO mummy. Off I take her screaming and crying upstairs, and I will just say that changing a nappy becomes a performance of its own.

This gives you a taste of how my last few days have been looking. Everything is a “NO”, lots of crying, tantrums … And try to tell her No to something 😂 the meltdown that you get is something.

This episode in your toddlers’ life is called the TERRIBLE TWOs or as some likes to call it TODDLER REFUSAL! It can develop at any time between 19 months and 30 months. Comes unannounced and strikes with full power, then disappears without a word (I hope so !!!!). It can last anything from a few days to a few weeks but the specialists say that it will definitely go away sooner or later, so remember and keep repeating: it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase…. The reasons behind this behaviour is simple- toddlers say “no” because they can. “They’ve just found out that they have a will, and they want to exercise it,”(Susanne Denham, Professor of Developmental Psychology at George Mason University). When it comes to the tantrums different specialists say different things: some say that we are being tested by the kids to see if having a tantrum will give them what they want, some say that it’s because a toddler cannot express itself, some say that it’s just a reaction to escape a demand and some that it’s pure attention seeking.

There are tricks which can help with this difficult stage and I must say they work. Sometimes they will make the tantrum go away, sometimes they will prevent it, but remember they will not stop it totally and you have to be prepared for the battle of wills.

1. Offer choices

Give your toddler options. Options on how to do something, not if they want to do it. It makes them feel in control of what they are doing and that makes them happy.

If you ask him/her if they want breakfast the answer will be a very loud NO though we know that they want to eat! Instead give an option of cereal or toast.

I found meal times especially difficult. Chloe would just scream when I put her in her highchair, she would scream if I took her off … I didn’t have a clue what to do! So I started giving her lots of different things on her plate so she could choose what she wanted to eat (one main meal which is what we are eating and lots of different vegetables, few plain pasta, a fruit). This and taking the highchair tray off so she could “sit with us at the table” worked miricles and she started eating pretty much everything again.

When dressing them give options of two outfits and get them to try and dress themselves.

Going for a walk I would ask Chloe what shoes she wants to wear and if she wants to walk or take the pram.

2. Distraction

If she/he kick off with yet another tantrum just get them to look at something, pretend that you hear something, show them another toy etc. Works 70% of the time. This will stop them crying for long enough so you can show them something what will keep them occupied. I always say “Chloe have you seen the train?” (she is obsessed with them) and then take her to another room and try to play with her.

When changing a nappy (which for some reason Chloe started hating with a passion) I use toys to stop the tantrum and crying. I tell her that we will change theirs nappies afterwards and she can clean theirs bums, or I tell her that all of her favourite toys are looking at her, and they will scream and cry when she tries to change their nappies 😁 so far it has been working.
3. Ignoring

Sometimes nothing will work and you just will need to let them cry and calm down a bit. If the reason behind the tantrum is you saying “No” to something then you will have to ignore it. As tempting as it is do not give in and stay strong, if not your toddler might learn that if they behave that way they will always get what they want …. And you don’t want to incurage behaviour like that, do you ?😊 or you can just lay down and scream with them 😊

4. Little helpers

Get them to help you with whatever you are doing. Kids love to “help”, it makes them happy. Be prepared for everything to take twice as long, but I will be worth it. Helping with hanging the washing, folding clothes, tidying up, dusting etc

Have you gone throught this stage ? Do you have any tips ? Please share with us !

Toddler Traveling guide ☀️🌴☀️🌴☀️🌴☀️🌴☀️🌴☀️🌴☀️🌴☀️🌴

BABY ADVICE, MY BABY EXPERIENCE

Time for another holidays special post. I have written one of these last year about traveling with a baby. This is an updated version and angled more towards holidays with a little toddler. We are going on holidays YUPPIE ! In a few hours time I will be on a beach in glorious Cypriot sun TRYING to get some rest😁.

It can be quite overwhelming to pack for holidays with the little one; it can be quite tempting to just pack everything which might result in you needing much more than the allocated 20 kg. These are some tips on what you have to take and what is good to have based on all my traveling experience.

ESSENTIALS :

1. 50 UVA & UVB sun cream – ideally waterproof.

2. SunHat – just make sure that the shade from the hat covers your baby’s neck. More than one is advisable as they get covered in sand and ice cream surprisingly quickly.

3. Swimsuits – UVB protected ones are the best as you know that they are protecting your precious toddler on top of the sun cream.

4. Swimming nappies – lots of them 😊

5. Antihistamine – If you are going to a hot country your baby/child can get a heat rash. Aloe vera cream will help with a mild rash, cooling affected area, and wearing loose cotton clothing. If those things don’t work it is good to have Antihistamine Syrup.

6. Hydrocortisone Cream – another thing which is handy to have just in case. If the heat rash isn’t going anywhere after using antihistamine syrup then this mixed with lotion will.

7. Nurofen / Calpol – or any other pain / fever relief that you are using. You never know when you might need it. I never leave the house without a bottle in the changing bag.

8. Thermometer – a must-have when traveling with a child. We travel quite frequently and I must say I always end up using it. Last thing you want is your baby feeing hot and you not being able to check if they have a temperature or what the temperature is.

9. Nappy bags – at home we use a nappy bin so I never remember to take nappy bags or to refill them in my changing bag. Last thing you want when you are relaxing in your lovely hotel room is the smell of a stinky nappy !!!

10. Beach shoes – let’s remember that our precious babies feet skin is very delicate (not like ours, which requires lots of work to be smooth for a week or so) ; and that they are much more sensitive to temperature.

11. Sunglasses – yes they do look really cute in them but it is more about protecting their eyes than a fashion statement 😊.

12. Bag full of surprises – are you flying ? Is the fight quite long? Be prepared with lots of little things ready to distract your toddler. I have been very lucky as Chloe is quite good at flying; but I am still always prepared. New book which she hasn’t seen before, crayons, stickers, favourite toy, snacks etc. This will make sure that you can keep your baby entertained … You know how quickly they can get bored!

13. Dummy – or bottle/food if you don’t approve of dummies. This is to make sure that your child’s sucks on something at the take off of the plane and when plane starts to descend. Make sure to have something ready to prevent pain in your cute one ears.
GOOD TO HAVE
1. Towel Poncho – kids don’t like to sit in one place, wrapped up in towel waiting to dry and warm up a bit. This is the perfect solution, they are covered, warm and can run around.

2. UVB beach tent – this is very good and much more practical than trying to keep your monster under an umbrella. Chloe loves playing in her one.

3. Formula – this obviously is only if your child still has morning and evening milk. Reason why I suggest to buy it is because kids react differently to cows milk in other countries. When we went to Poland to visit my family Chloe got diahorrea from the milk (on which I was brought up and was totally fine with).

4. Favourite food – I always take Chloe’s favourite snacks just in case she gets a bit funny with her eating. New place, new environment, new people, new routine … It can really confuse baby/child which in turn can affect their eating.

5. Wet wipes – lots and lots of them. I swear you go through them at the speed of light!

6. Favourite bed time book and favourite toy – It all helps child adapt quicker to the new surroundings and makes us feel safer.

7. Travel cot mattress – With all of the suitcases that I have when traveling with Chloe, all the hand luggage needed and pram I have opted for not owning a travel cot. Instead I have a travel cot mattress which you put over the cot. I obviously always bring our own, fitted sheet for the cot as well. That way I don’t have to carry the travel cot, and I have peace of mind that Chloe’s sleeping environment is safe.
8. Swimming costume – you will need more that one. You will have to change your toddler in to a dry swimming suit after the get out of water. This will prevent them getting cold and getting a heat rash.
9. iPhone / iPad – with favourite cartoon. I am against giving those to kids but let’s be honest there are situations when all rules go out of the window and you will do anything to stop your child screaming
Hope that this little guide will help you pack useful things on top of all of the clothes and nappies required 😁

Oh and if anyone has invented something to prevent your toddler from eating the sand please share !!! 😂

Nursery facing closure over photos to reassure parents ….???!!!

MY BABY EXPERIENCE

This is a story from Good Morning Britain. I would love to hear what is your opinion abut it Mums ???

A nursery school in Kent is facing closure after it was sending photos of children to their worried parents to show that they are happy after they leave.
Cindy Fox, owner of Cherubs nursery in Linton, says she simply wanted to reassure concerned parents but she has been told by education watchdog Ofsted that the pictures jeopardise the safety of children – and as a result the school has been stripped of its outstanding rating and branded inadequate instead…..

What is your opinion abut it ?

If I asked for a photo when I was leaving my child then I cannot see anything bad about it… But is there a thin line between photos which you ask for and photos that you didn’t know of ? ….

TAKING BABY AWAY ! ITS NOT SCARY AT ALL !!!!

BABY ADVICE

Chloe was abroad now 4 times and in 2 days time she will be traveling again.I am Polish and I live in the UK so we go to visit my family in Poland, we also went on our first family holidays to Greece and we are going on our final holidays before I go back to work (we don’t talk or think about that and hope that if we ignore it, it won’t happen).

I know that a lot of people get scared or overwhelmed when it comes to traveling with little babies… No reason to!

As far as you are organised and prepared it is not scary or hard, it’s lots of fun! Especially once you get to your holiday destination. Being away with Chloe was the most special time and most fun we have had.

I decided to write some things which in my opinion you need or should consider based on the advice that I have been given and my own experience.

1. DONT CARE !!!!!

This will be the best advice I can give you : stop caring about what other people think !! If your baby screams on the plane (hopefully that will never happen) don’t care about what other people might think! If your baby is loud in the restaurant and you get some looks from other people, just ignore them !!! If your baby cries at night in the hotel do not worry if someone can hear it!!!! Concentrate on you and your baby! Other people don’t matter and remember that your little baby has every right to make noise, cry, scream or laught out laud … That’s the Baby Human Rights Act 😂

2. FLIGHT TIMES

Flights are always much cheaper when you fly early in the morning or late in the evening… And you are used to doing it … Don’t! We have had our lesson when we went on holidays and had no choice in flight time. We had to leave the house at 3am !!! So had to get up at 1am to get out in time, and because I was so stressed that we won’t wake up in time I ended up not sleeping at all!!!! Flying back to London at 11at night and getting home at 1:30am isn’t ideal when your baby is up at 5am or 6am.

Babies are adaptable so they will make sure that they sleep if they are tired but if you mess too much with their routine they will let you know and you want to make sure that they are happy when you are on the plane.

You have a baby now so you can’t catch up on your sleep on the plane or when you get home so it’s important that you travel at a normal time :-).

3.TAKE OFF AND DESCENDING

As you already probably know your baby needs to suck something on the take off and when descending so the air pressure doesn’t hurt their ears.

Take off is easy you just give them a dummy or bottle for the first few minutes and it’s done. What I have discovered when traveling is that a lot of babies really cry when the plane is landing. That’s because the plane starts descending quite quickly (it takes around 20 min) if you don’t give your baby something at the beginning of the descent then it’s too late, your baby’s ears started hurting so it doesn’t matter if it has something to suck or not. Make sure you give your baby a dummy as soon as your ears pop for the first time.

Another trick is to put your baby on your legs, face down (so on their belly) and massage their back.

If your baby doesn’t take the dummy make sure that he/she is hungry! There is no point of giving your baby bottle of milk to suck if she/he isn’t hungry.

4. MAGAZINES AND CUP OF COFFEE
Don’t bother, you won’t be able to have it 😂. If you are flying with a partner /friend and your baby is tiny then you might be lucky as the baby will usually just sleep so you can give it to the dad and enjoy your magazine. If your baby is 6 months or over don’t waste your money. Chloe was climbing over both of us for the whole 3 hours on the plane 😀.

5. ENTERTAINMENT

I am not talking about your holiday entertainment, but your baby’s 😀.
Make sure that you have things with you which will keep your baby entertained and distracted. There are some good baby apps which will entertain even very small babies, bring theirs toys, a book. I find that snacks work perfectly! Chloe loves her food and snacking can keep her very happy for quite a while.

6. PACKING !

The harsh truth is that you won’t be able to take your usual 20 pairs of shoes 😀 the good news is that baby clothes are small so there will be some space left for your clothes😀

Pack anything that you think you will need, it is always better to take more than not enough.

My main advice will be to pack your baby clothes (or half of them) in to a hand luggage. I say that in case your luggage goes missing (it doesn’t happen often but is better to be safe than sorry) at least you have your baby stuff and your make-up (that always needs to be in the hand luggage) with you.

Keep your hand luggage to a minimum. I would advise to take 2 big suitcases and only one hand luggage. Recently we took one big suitcase and then had : 1 small suitcase, 1 bag, a pram, a changing bag, my handbag and Chloe (my husband hated every minute of it)…. It was a nightmare. This time we will have my very big handbag which will double as a changing bag, and one small suitcase.

7. FOOD

Nowadays this isn’t a problem. You can either take your milk (if you are bottle feeding) or your baby food (if your baby is weaning but not big enough to eat normal food) with you! Or just buy while on holidays (make sure that your holiday destination has a shop which sells baby food) You can take it on the plane with you without any problems (the 100ml rule doesn’t apply to baby milk/food).

I have previously bought meals for the whole holidays with us (lunch and dinner main course & dessert) my advice is just make sure that it’s the pouches not jars that you buy (if you get jars it will weigh a ton 😀) . I have also bought food while on holidays, it does depend on where you are going and if you know the country/trust the food brands.

8. ROUTINE

If your baby is very small (couple of months old) they don’t really have a routine yet and they sleep a lot which means that you don’t have to worry about it. Good thing about them being very small is that they will happily sleep everywhere; you can enjoy your dinner at any time with your baby sleeping in the pram next to you.

If your baby is over 3/4 months old she/he probably has a routine (meal time, nap times, bed time routine). In my opinion you should stick to your routine , maybe bend it a little bit when it comes to bed time but try and follow it. The reason to try and stick to your routine is simple : it took you a long time to get your baby in to a good routine, if you won’t stick to it for a few days/week+ you will have to start setting up your routine again. Also remember that if your baby is out of its routine it will change the way she/he behaves and that can affect your holidays.

If you go anywhere with a time difference of an hour, two or three ahead, that works perfectly for you. That means that you can stick to your bed routine and still have nice long evenings. When we went to Greece which is 2 hours ahead of UK time we had a great time and didn’t have to do anything about Chloe’s routine. We stick to our UK time routine so our usual 6pm dinner became 8pm , bed time went from 19:30 to 21:30 which was great. When we went to Poland which is only an hour ahead we had stick to the day routine but pushed the bed time by an hour (which luckily didn’t affect Chloe in any way).

I am not saying that you cannot go out in the evening or enjoy your holidays, you can, just make sure that you consider your baby’s needs. If your baby is a good sleeper and would sleep while you are out in the restaurant then that’s perfect just let them sleep in the restaurant and then quietly move to the cot when you are back at the hotel.

Tomorrow we are going to Portugal, there is no time difference so our plan is the every second night we will get Chloe to go to sleep in the pram so we can be out a little bit later than 7:30 pm 😀. That would mean that every other night she will go to sleep in the cot and that should keep her routine of going to sleep.

9. HOTEL

Bring your baby’s sleeping comfort item (if they have any) and toys with you. Chloe loves hotels as its a new environment to explore. In my opinion you only need to make sure that they feel secure when going to bed. I don’t carry a travel cot with us instead I have a portable mattress which I put over the cot base and use our fitted sheets. I bring Chloe’s sleeping bag and her comfort blanket which smell of her home/bed and she never has any problems sleeping.

10. THINGS TO HAVE WITH YOU

I won’t be going over the usual stuff, as you all know all of it already. I will go through some which might not be that obvious and I found that its good to have them with you.

Thermometer (just in case… that should take some of the stress away if your baby isn’t well and you can check one of the most important things which is the body temperature).
Calpol (or any other pain relief) in case of teething, fever or anything else. I always have with me the small sachets of Calpol.
Teething medicines (whatever it is thats works for you baby).
Heat rash medicine (if you go to a hot country, as baby’s skin after few days might struggle to cope with the heat).
Few spare dummies if you use them (trust me they go missing so quickly its crazy).