YOUR LIFE IS OVER ! That is what I have been told on a number of occasions about my life once I have kids. This is also what I hear a from people who have kids. And quite frankly I have had enough and will unload my frustration here ! Kids do not end your life! They change it, they make it happier, they make it special, and they give your life a purpose! Kids make you experience a totally different side to life, expose you to things that you didn’t even know existed (like Peppa Pig, sleepless nights without alcohol being involved, explosive poos and so much more). I have two kids and they never stoped me doing anything. We travel abroad, we visit lots of places, we go out to restaurants, travel to central London, we go shopping, we still do things without them (although those aren’t as much fun anymore) ! It’s all down to what you want to do once you have kids! If you don’t have a life it’s not your kids’ fault, you just use your kids as an excuse! Don’t get me wrong having kids is not a walk in the park: it is challenging, sometimes frustrating and there are times that you could scream at the top of your voice or just cry … You can blame your kids for having grey hair at the age of 30 or you can blame them for those massive bags under your eyes, or for having to drink a coffee that has gone cold … but you cannot blame them for not having a life! You have two options 1. Change your life style or 2. Stop telling people that your life is over once you have kids !
Breastfeeding wasn’t a question for me, it was just an obvious choice.
It was very easy with my first one and after a rocky start with the second one, we are both enjoying it as well. I love breastfeeding, I love the bond that I have with the baby and all of the extra cuddles that I get because of it. But it’s not that straight forward. Breast feeding though it’s the most natural thing in the world can be very difficult to establish. There are so many Mums out there that try and cannot do it for lots of different reasons, there is also a lot of babies who can’t get the hang of it. As mums-to-be we get a lot of advice, lessons and support but none of them prepare you for how hard it can be to breastfeed, they only stress how important it is. There needs to be a better education on it and much better support for everyone who struggles. There also needs to be much more empathy towards mums who struggle or can’t do it. I have heard some many bad stories from Mums who were looking for help and had someone make them feel even worse than they already did! You cannot give a Mum who is struggling to breastfeed her baby advice like: just breastfeed and don’t give your baby a bottle, she will eat when she gets hungry ….. really? And lastly no mum should judge how the other one feeds their baby, bottle or breast, we all do what we think is best for our babies and what works for us …
what was your baby feeding experience ?
How many times times have you been told the sex of your child based on the shape or height of your belly? I even had someone questioning the result of my scan (Stranger: are you expecting a boy? Me: no I am having a girl. Stranger: Are you sure about that? Me: Yes I had a scan Stranger: I think that it was wrong and you are having a boy, your bump is very high …. Me: are you serious?) How many times have you been told that because your second pregnancy is different you will have the opposite sex ? How many times you been told that first babies are always late and second babies are always early? Or that your labour will be the same as the first one, or it will be like that because of this and that in your pregnancy? ITS ALL RUBBISH!!!!!! I am a mum of two girls. I have had two very different pregnancies and very different labours.
My first pregnancy was a dream. I had no morning sickness, I had the pregnancy glow, my skin became lovely, my hair was glossy, I loved every second of it. The only side affects were feeling full very quickly in the first trimester which was so frustrating as I love my food, and the not sleeping great in the third trimester.
My second pregnancy was very different. I was feeling sick and being sick for the first 5 months. Like clockwork every day at 4pm nausea crept in, I would feel sick and be sick every day until I started taking tablets. I got very bad varicose veins on my legs and to top it off I got a hernia ! I still loved being pregnant but it was a very different experience.
My first daughter was born 2 weeks while the second one was 3 days late.
My first labour was induced. My waters broke but the labour didn’t start so I had to be induced 24 hours later. The whole labour lasted around 6 hours (by the labour I mean since it’s full on, painful with long contractions).
The second one was natural, waters didn’t break till very end of the labour, and the labour took around 2,5hours and we made it to hospital 20min before she was born.
The only similarity is that I managed to only have gas and air with both of them (bloody proud of it 💪🏻)
With both of the labours I wanted to be in Birthing Center in the pool … which both of them that didn’t happen. First one I had to be in the hospital because of the induction; With the second one I was in the birthing center and they even started to fill in the pool but this baby was not going to wait . So you see two girls and such a different experience with each of them ….
what was your experience?
WEEK 25 has ended ! SHE IS 6 months old today !!!! 6 months old !!!!! How ??!! When ??!! She is growing so much so quickly!!! Too much too quickly !!! 6 months of disturbed sleep, early wake ups, mountains of washing . 6 months of feeling so happy and so loved/loving that it’s impossible to describe. 6 months of cuddling, kissing, feeding, dressing, caring, worrying and looking at my gorgeous little girl growing into quite a big baby (she is outgrowing 6-9 months old clothes already and weighing 8,5 kg!!!!). 6 months of feeling very blessed to be a mummy to such a gorgeous little girl. 6 months of seeing Chloe becoming the most loving and wonderful big sister …. HAPPY 1/2 BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL !
WEEK 23 is gone … yet another week has shot by and I don’t even know when?! or how?! It is really freaking me out how quickly time is going. It’s funny how with my first daughter I couldn’t wait for the next step, next development, needing to buy the next load of clothes ; with the second one it is totally opposite … I want her to grow slower, to stay little, to be my little baby for a little bit longer . So what have we accomplished this week? *s…t loads of washing… again !!! *failure at progressing with Skylar’s weaning. And this is not down to her not wanting to eat, she has an appetite of an elephant. We were meant to start two meals a day but somehow I didn’t manage to get vegetables steamed in time or had enough time to prep it. I just keep forgetting about it and remembering that poor Skylar is eating now as well just before we were siting down for a meal. So I kicked my arse and ordered new tableware for her, lots of cereals fruits vegetables and I WILL REMEMBER to cook for her from now on 😊*went back to exercising after a few weeks break. I am on the mission to get beach ready. *Got undisturbed 6 hours of sleep !!! 🎉Followed by being up every hour the following night😂
*Discovered that melamine is dangerous ??!! Am I the only ignorant mum out there? I didn’t have a clue about it! Also didn’t have a clue that you should not be putting it in to a microwave ??!! How can you design kids tableware which you can’t put in to microwave and which is dangerous ??!! I feel so stupid !!!
The Famous 4 months sleep regression … or as I call it Hell !!!
Why did I call it Famous ? Because almost every parent has googled: sleep regression; 4 months old doesn’t want to sleep; 4 months old waking up at night ever 2 hours, 4 months old doesn’t want to nap …. it’s probably one of the most googled subjects by parents. Everyone talks about it, reeds about it and once you have 4 months old baby knows about it.
You feel like you and your baby finally have an amazing bond, some sort of routine, you understand each other; you start feeling confident and believe in your parental skills; you even feel human again as you are getting much more sleep each night; and you might even have got your baby to go to sleep on their own … and then … BANG …. everything changes overnight. One thing to remember is : It’s not you, it’s them 😊
Me and my husband have found it harder than the newborn stage …
I was lucky enough to have my little one get up only once at night for feeding, at 3 months we got a good daily routine and started to slowly get Skylar to go to sleep on her own … until the regression started and made her get up every 2 hours, stop napping, or nap only for 30minutes, wanted to be rocked or nursed to sleep.
I have done my fair share of googling this subject with the first one and a little bit with a second one. And these are my findings combined with my own experience.
4 MONTHS SLEEP REGRESSION
The 4 month sleep regression marks a permanent change in your baby’s sleeping habits. Before your baby hit the 4 month mark, your baby slept like a baby – babies don’t go between deep and light sleep … they are in deep sleep all the time. This explains why newborns and very young infants tend to sleep anywhere and through anything!
As your baby’s brain matures, around the 4 month mark, her sleeping patterns change – they become more like ours. Now, she is cycling between light and deep sleep – just like we are.
4 MONTHS SLEEP REGRESSION SINGS :
How to recognise that the 4 months sleep regression has started? There is more night waking and short naps. Every time your baby cycles out of deep sleep and into slight sleep, theres a good chance she will wake up – and once she’s up, she will more thank likely need your help to fall back to sleep.
Sleep stages follow a predictable order that flow together in sleep cycles. These sleep cycles last about 60-90 minutes during the night (sometimes 120 minutes as they are developing) and are marked by a brief waking that happens at the end. And this is the cause of most “sleep problems.” This waking is meant to be to protect us by allowing to briefly check in with the environment that everything is ok. When we fall asleep, we expect our conditions to remain constant throughout the night, so if your baby has fallen asleep in your arms and you transferred him to the crib, the crib will feel wrong when he hits the checking wake up. This means that after every sleep cycle your baby will probably wake up and you can interpret his or her cries as, “Hey Something is wrong here ! Where is Mummy ?! Where is Daddy ?!
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR BABY IS GOING THROUGH SLEEP REGRESSION :
Babies thrive on consistency and routine, so be sure to provide it. If you haven’t already, this is a great time to create a calm, soothing bedtime routine that can consist of a bath, a book or a song, then bed.
You also need to have some routine before naps, to help your baby learn that it’s time to sleep (making the room dark, kiss, story, or whatever works for you). Within your flexible schedule, be sure to include consistent feedings so that your baby isn’t hungry, especially if she or he’s experiencing a growth spurt.
Just keep feeding your baby if that’s what they want when they get up. At around 4 months old babies go through a growth spurt and also there are changes to the breast milk which might affect the amount of milk needed by your baby.
You also need to get as much sleep as possible so there is no point of trying to get them to sleep without any help, this will only upset you and your baby (trust me I tried).
Try and move feeding times so that your baby doesn’t go to sleep straight after the feed or put them down when they are drowsy not asleep. This will work in the day but not necessarily at night.
You cannot do anything to stop it or to make it go away. You just have to bear with your baby until she adjust to this new situation and works out how to sleep longer.
You can support this adjustment by doing the above and giving them lots of love.
Also don’t go and feed your baby the second that they move or make the smallest sound. Give them some time to try and go back to sleep. Sometimes they will just moan for a little bit or talk and then go back to sleep. They will let you know if they need you by crying loudly 😊
HOW LONG CAN THE SLEEP REGRESSION LAST?
It can take anything from 2-6 weeks. It usually just goes away without warning.
If after 6 weeks your baby still wakes up at night all the time and needs to be fed to go back to sleep then your baby has developed an unhealthy habit.
It took Chloe around 2 weeks and Skylar around 4 weeks. So there is no rule and every baby is different.
This is the biggest sleep regression but there is also one at 6 months, 8-10months, 12 months, 18 months and if that wasn’t enough; also at 24 months old 😬
Am I cherishing every moment ? Am I enjoying every second of this little tiny body in my arms ? Is every moment as precious as I wanted it to be ? When a baby is born we are in this lovely bubble of love! We want to enjoy every second of having a new born baby and being a mum/dad. First weeks are like a dream, you are in a bubble of happiness (and also a little bit delirious from lack of sleep😂)… then real life gets in your way… First little things crop in like having to cook, clean, have a shower or go to the shop … Then comes the tiredness, need for adult company and coffee , spending hours on google researching why my baby cries, baby doesn’t sleep, baby doesn’t eat, what to do … how to do it …. , going to baby classes, going for a walks, visiting friends, play groups, having to start giving your baby some independence …. then you realise that they are already 1 Month… 3 Months…. 6 Months … 1 Year Old … And the question you constantly ask is 1. When has the time gone???!!!! 2. Why is my baby growing so fast ???!!!!
Even though you probably cherished every second of being with your baby you will look back and think that you haven’t made enough of this special time, you will question yourself have I taken enough photos of my little baby?, have I given him or her enough cuddles? have I been staring at him or her enough? have I remembered every single special thing that they did for the first time ?
When my second daughter was born I was saying that I need to enjoy everything more than I did first time round (don’t think that it is possible really) But I constantly keep thinking how quickly she is growing and questioning if I make the most of it ? Yes I think that I am, but I am sad to let go … sad that I won’t see her first smile anymore, sad that she isn’t this tiny newborn baby anymore, sad that I have to buy next size clothes … and at the same time very excited about seeing her grow and develop ….
I love the baby stage so much that I might start having a baby every year just so I can enjoy it all over again, all the time 😂
Babies grow very fast so cherish every second as you won’t be able to get it back ! Enjoy sharing your life with this tiny person and making memories together, nothing else matters!