LAST WEEK OF MATERNITY LEAVE 😢

I am becoming an emotional wreck! Last week I was emotional because my little baby somehow overnight has changed in to a big baby (I still cannot bring myself to call her a toddler!). This week I am a total emotional mess because it is my last week of maternity leave which means settling sessions at the nursery and trying to stop ignoring the fact that I am going back to work on Monday ! 

 I just have left Chloe at the nursery on her own for longer than 15 minutes (we started settling in session last week but I was there with her having fun and only left the room for 15 minutes). I have left her doing her first ever painting, seeing her at the table with the apron on starting to do her painting …. I got so emotional that I almost burst out crying ! 

  
Today was only to hours which Chloe apparently really enjoyed; tomorrow I will have to leave her from 9am till 2 pm …. How will I do that??? … This whole experience is so emotional and stressful! 

MATERNITY LEAVE COMING TO AN END … NO!!! NO !!! NO!!!

 It’s official, my maternity leave is coming to an end very soon NO NO NO NO!!!! 😭 I have 5 weeks left and then I have to go back to work. First 3 months I will work 4 days a week. After the first 3 months I will be back at work full time; that is 5 days a week, 40 hours a week, 2400 minutes away from my precious little girl every single week. This means that I won’t see her in the morning, I won’t get her dressed, I won’t give her her breakfast, I won’t be playing with her, cuddling her, kissing her until 5pm when I will be back home from work…. Just thinking about it makes me cry! How will I do it? How will I cope with it?  

 This week we start settling in sessions at the nursery which Chloe will attend 2 days a week. We also will start teaching grandparents how to look after Chloe and slowly start leaving Chloe with them. I know that I have to do it so Chloe gets used to being without me but isn’t it ridiculous ? Isn’t it ridiculous that I am expected to leave my baby when the only thing I want to do is to have her next to me all the time so I can enjoy every second that I have left of my maternity leave? 

 I am trying to make the most of the 5 weeks left …There seems to be way too many things that I should do while I am still off, and every day things that I have to do …  

 My mum had 4 kids and was working full time and she has done an amazing job bringing us up… Everyone keeps telling me that after a few days back at work I will be fine …. I know that this is life and you just get on with it and make the most of what you have … But right now I don’t know how I will do it…. This will be up there with one of the hardest things that I have had to do in life …