Do you believe In miracles ? Fate? Someone up there giving you a helping hand?
From the moment I moved to UK (born and bred in Poland) me and my mum became really really close. We would be on the phone every day talking about anything and everything. My mum really wanted 2 things: to have a grandchild from me (& my husband 😊) and for us to buy house. She was waiting patiently for her grandchild, she wasn’t one of the pushy Mums, she would just from time to time say things like: I will come to London for a month when your baby is born, or would say that she would buy it for my child when she/he is bigger 😊. She was also playing lottery to try to win it so she can give me money to buy our own place.
We started trying for a baby when my mum was diagnosed with terminal cervical cancer. Me and my husband decided that life is too short to wait for the perfect time;we also really wanted for my mum to get to see our baby.. Unfortunately with the stress of my mum fighting this horrible disease, trying to balance work and going all the time to Poland to be with my mum nothing was happening. This became quite stressful in itself as I knew that I am running slowly out of time, I was hoping that the news of me being pregnant would give my mum even more strength to fight.
My mum has lost her battle with cancer on the 8 of November 2013 after fighting for 14 months. I was devastated, actually I don’t think that there is a word to describe how I felt. It was all made worst by the fact that I lost my dad 10 years ago, now I had to be the “mum” in our family (2sisters and 1brother).
My way of dealing with the loss was not to think about it and pretend that it didn’t happen. To try to help me with that Me and my husband started house hunting. We knew that we wouldn’t be able to buy anything till the end of the year (still saving for the deposit) but it kept me occupied and focus in my free time. We have seen few properties old and new builds and became quite frustrated with how bad our position was. We etcher had to buy new build, and all of the ones that we seen were in the middle of nowhere and have been so small that you can’t fit anything in to the room except bed (where the hell do you meant to keep your clothes?!). Second option was to buy a tiny old build which needed so much renovation that you would need lots and lots of money and time to make it lovely.
I came across a new build house in a place I never heard of, convinced my husband to just go and look at it (he didn’t want to go). It turn out to be an amazing house (very big) in an amazing location ( just of the high street, in London and 5 minutes walk to the forest). We ended up buying it and moving in to it 5 months later.
This was first miracle ! And I am sure that it was my Mums doing 😊 I found it just by a chance, just by a chance I convinced my husband to go and see it as he didn’t want to and was very sceptic about it. And just by a chance everything about the house was just perfect.
3 months later, while being back in Poland to sort things out my husband started going on and on about there being a chance that I may be pregnant (period late 2 weeks). I was sure that there is no way I was pregnant; there was not enough opportunities for it to happen.
I bought some tests just so I can stop my husband getting too excited. Got up in the morning, did the test and waited… Didn’t have to wait long to be told that apparently I AM pregnant ! Did another one just to check … And yes I was still pregnant !
This was another miracle! As I told you the was very few opportunities to get pregnant…. specifically only one !
Both me and my husband really wanted a girl. Yes I agree healthy baby is the most important, but if we could have a choice it would be a girl. We both knew that the chances of having a girl are very very very small. You see there are only boys in my husband family, his brother has 2 boys, and every person who saw my belly said its a boy …. I remember going to the 20 week scan and keep saying : don’t be disappointed when they say it’s a boy, don’t be disappointed! When the doctor said that it was a girl we couldn’t believe it, my husband kept asking if he is 100% sure that it’s a girl 😊 This was another miracle, I am convinced that it was my mums doing 😊
Those things has showed me that my parents are really looking down on me ! That they are taking care of me and trying to make me happy. I honestly don’t know how I would have coped with loosing my Mum if I didn’t have Chloe (and my wonderful husband) the amount of happiness that she brings in to my life every day, every hour, every minute …
…. It’s just such a shame that I can’t share those special , happy things with them ….